Friday, March 2, 2012

Secrets.






Living in this world is just too intimidating. Each & everyone of us has our own little secrets. I am keeping something from him/her. He/She is keeping something from him/her. We do keep something from someone. & it goes on...

"Why?" We would ask. Well, perhaps we know that even though that "secret" doesn't mean any harm, it might hurt that "someone". Perhaps we are that "someone". We could reason by saying that "if you knew that it might hurt me, why do you have to that thing in the first place?" But at the back of it, this is what we are doing, to someone else. Perhaps not realising at all.

In life, we might chance upon someone whom we thought we have known for years, yes, we should know him/her inside out. Or is it a No? It just dawned on me that there is always something new that we will learn. Is it because he/she is keeping something from us about him/herself? Is it because all of us are ever changing? Or could it be because that person is an outright hypocrite? Perhaps.

Whichever way, it might be improper to be keeping something back someone's back.

But at least, it is not a legitimate lie.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

My greatest fear.......

下雨了…… Today's weather depicts my mood just right... Gloomy.......

I've been having feelings that I could not comprehend..

Lately, I realised that it wasn't just "sad", but "fear" as well..

I can't understand, is it because a lack of security?.......

I'm deeply afraid when I'm left alone at home... Has it got to do with being afraid of loneliness?

Does sadness and fear come together?

At times, I find that being alive is just too tiring..

Is it because of loving the people around me too deeply, that I'm always being fearful of losing them?

They are too dear to me..

Perhaps we might spend time together, we are happy, we do enjoy.. I feel happy, I feel bliss.. But deep down, I feel sad, afraid.. Fearful that there won't be another time again...

My greatest fear: Losing my loved ones...

Sunday, January 1, 2012

那些年...

我最近喜欢上了一首歌 《那些年》。
让我想起了那些年.......



Coming to a certain realization...


I've been really envious of the sweetness that I'm basking in..

How I wish that I could experience it myself too..

But I just realise, it could be mine too, but it's just not the right time yet..

Perhaps, not the right person as well..

I'd, yes I would have such sweetness too..

I would wait patiently, Patience pays off well...


Someone, Somewhere, Someday.......


" If dreams would come true, how happy I'd be. I dream that I love you, and you love me too..." - Postcard from RMS TITANIC


"try not to awaken or arouse love [in me] until it feels inclined." - Ca 2:7

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Changes.

Changes. Time flies so fast! Without realising, it's already near the end of 2011! Sometimes, it flies too fast that it seems a little scary.. Scary in the sense that, perhaps I've wasted this year unknowingly, and letting it just pass me by...

Many things had happened.. Some good, and of course, bad. Sometimes when we reflect back to the things that we have done, we do regret.. Or perhaps, we miss those moments, and wish that time will just stop there.

Changes had taken place without us realising too! Be it better or worse... Well, at least we grow mature each year. :)

~ I had a change of hairstyle! Despite being a lover of long hair, I've decided to cut it short, shoulder length, to have a change.. Well, sometimes I do miss my long hair though. :/
Oh! & I'm growing my fringe, so no bangs at the moment. ;)

~ Have been wearing glasses everywhere I go instead of contact lenses.. Since I had redness on my eyes then on, the fear of losing my sight had prevented me from wearing them for the time being..

~ After watching " The Man of the Vineyard " , I've started developing the love for plants! Started taking care of Aloe Vera, which I named it Vera ( which sounds sweet ;) ) Amazingly, the product of care & love, results in more shoots coming forth! :)

~ & I realised I've gained weight for this 1 year! It took me 1 year to lose my previous weight, and now I might need another year to lose it all again =.=

~ Trying to change some bad habits, for e.g: Sleeping & waking up early :)

~ Strive to be a happy person every single day!

~ Formed many more friendships, and deeply appreciating them! :)

~ Personality has started changing too, which makes me feel lost at times.. It's frustrating...

~ Realised that it takes maturity to admit that we're still immature..

~ Adopted a new nickname " Beany " [ long story for how it came along. ]


** Whatever changes, may it for good or bad, I'd like to cherish every moment of my life! :)


 Desktop Wallpaper · Gallery · 3D-Art   Time on the Woter - Adobe

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Friends like Family.

It's been a while since I've wrote my rambling feelings & thoughts...

Whenever I write, it's when I feel depressed...


I've been feeling rather depressed & negative lately...
Could it be the monthly cycle?
Or I'm just being negative, which I am, in nature.

Everyone has their own life to lead, has their own different circles of friends.
But pathetically, my circle of friends is just these few,
though few, they have become part of my family,
which I've always prioritize my life around them...

However,
it doesn't seem that it's mutual..
& that somehow, hurts actually.......

Well,
perhaps I'm expecting too much.......
or perhaps nobody really cares.......

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Can this be remove, Please?...

Current favourite Bible text::


2 Corinthians 12:7-10 " Therefore, that I might not feel overly exalted, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, an angel of Satan, to keep slapping me, that I might not be overly exalted. In this behalf I three times entreated the Lord that it might depart from me; and yet he really said to me: “My undeserved kindness is sufficient for you; for [my] power is being made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, will I rather boast as respects my weaknesses, that the power of the Christ may like a tent remain over me. Therefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in insults, in cases of need, in persecutions and difficulties, for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am powerful. "


&


James 1:2-4 " Consider it all joy, my brothers, when YOU meet with various trials, knowing as YOU do that this tested quality of YOUR faith works out endurance. But let endurance have its work complete, that YOU may be complete and sound in all respects, not lacking in anything. "



Nightmare of reality.






原来 “哭过就好了” 并不是真的。

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Letting Go...

I'm surprised that some people knew me before I even know them..

Haha, Popular?
Yeah, Popular in a bad light...

I hope that they won't simply judge me according to what they know,
but just simply know me as Regina.

~~~~~~~

Was it my fault...?
They just didn't know all the facts...

I wish that I can simply let go,
just let the past be the past...

But when a hurt is inflicted, it leaves a wound.
The wound heals, but a scar is form,
it is always there to remind you of everything that happened...

Perhaps time is all that is needed..

~~~~~~~

Perhaps some people may dislike me, based on what they think they know,
but caring it is just too tiring..







Perhaps all is just a misunderstanding, the truth will come to light someday.......






~~~

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Tears held back.

Dear Dairy,

How have you been? Seems like I've not visited in a while.. Just up here whenever

I need to convey my thoughts...

It's 2am now, had been tossing & turning in bed for almost one hour.. Seems weird, but I just

couldn't get to sleep.. Memories kept on flashing & flooding in my mind.. Some were joyful,

but some brought tears to my eyes, which came right within me... I just couldn't control the

emotions, & tears kept rolling down my cheeks as if they were free.......

~~~~~~~

I remember how we always address him, Daddy or Papa. Intimate terms indeed, but not so for

an intimate relationship.

I remember clearly how I used to be so close with my Dad, always tagging along with him to

work whenever it was school holidays. I was all so looking forward to "play" in his office,

& of course riding behind his bike..

Childhood memories, they are always the best..

But right here today, all of us have grown up, things have of course change in a way or two..

Why is it not easy to maintain any forms of relationship?.......

~~~~~~~

I really miss all my dear ones.. But it seems that we have lost contact with each other

gradually..

Dear FRIENDS, how have all of you been? Was flipping through our "Morning Glory",

high school life is still clear in my mind.. They are a wonderful part in my life..

But it seems that once we hit college, we somehow become distant with one another..

Some have even went back to their countries, others have changed their contact number..

Are our friendships so surface?

Perhaps, & it's really dejecting, having realising that...

~~~~~~~

I think it has been 3 years?

Yes, Daddy has been working in China for 3 years..

Well yes, he does come back once every 3 months, but it's always for a short while, is that

enough.......

I know I have been suppressing my emotions, cos' it has become a part of my life..

It has become "normal" not having my dad around..

Sometimes people may ask if we miss our dad, it's not that I don't, but I'm used to it..

I admit that I'm not close to my father any longer as how we were when I was much younger,

but that doesn't mean it's something to be happy about..

Though we have personality clashes, different opinions, my Father is STILL my Father,

and I can't deny the fact that I'm lacking of Paternal Love..

I do, but just that I don't know how to deal with it...

Sometimes when papa comes back, the situation seems awkward, cos' I don't know how am

I supposed to talk or treat him, as time changes everything..

~~~~~~~

In life,

there are moments in which we wish that we can turn back the time to a certain period

of timeline in our life..

But the truth is cruel, the fact is we are never able to.. Life still goes on, no matter you

are satisfied with it or not...




Therefore, lets CHERISH what we have now and time to come, not taking them for GRANTED.......





p.s// when will be the time when papa can come back to stay with us permanently?

Pa, come back soon.. We miss you...


Friday, November 5, 2010

Words untold...








everyone of us have our own happiness. why do we have to be envious of others...?


Can't understand the decision made.

But I'm not envious.

Simply wish you happiness & not regret. :)






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having a pretty face doesn't naturally makes you a popular person.

Dear Diary,

long time no see.. how have u been?

These days,
I've been thinking and reminiscing on my high school days...


Honestly,
I really secretly envy those who are really charismatic, outgoing, bubbly...

They make friends easily, and people are easily attracted to them...

Compare to myself,
I'm a total difference..

I'm shy and introvert,
and will only open myself up to those whom I'm close with...

Well,
I thought I was used to be that since before..

But thinking about it,
I was not really like this in the past,
I made friends easily,
I was not the one who find them,
but they were the one to find me...

Perhaps I was more outgoing in the past...

~~~~~~~

I try hard to be the same as before,

but in the end,

I ended up feeling exhausted..

Really exhausted...


Why do I have to act as someone whom I'm not...?

If people are attracted to me just because of the someone whom I'm acting to be,

it's not "me" whom they like...


I'd rather be myself,
it's up to them,
& I don't care...

Happiness is all that matters :)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Home Sweet Home~

Finally i'm back home after a long day at work..
haha,
actually not very long la,
just worked till 5 today..
but hmmm,
it's still tiring though,
and still adjusting to this life...

was really exhausted these few days,
been out in the ministry and work every alternate days..
and by the time i reach home,
it's time to get ready to go to bed..
that's why i really miss home so much,
and that's why i've not been online for many days,
perhaps once a week only,
after i started work :S

Really enjoy simply slacking and staying at home,
online or sitting on the coach listening to music or watching tv..
hahas,
but that doesnt mean I enjoy being a "potato coach" ;P

Missed mom last monday,
cos' simply didnt see her for the whole day,
by the time i reached home,she was sleeping already..

I don't know,
am I being too reliant?
or I just enjoy my family companion?...

Love my coco girl girl lots,
told her::
"even though i'm grooming other doggies,
but i still love her the best..."

really,
even if other dogs are cute as well,
but she's still my most love..
always brighten up my day with her hug,
muackxx :*

Be thankful. Contented.

Life. Circumstances. Humans.

~~~~~~~

In life,
all of us are from different backgrounds,
of course we have different circumstances...

Sometimes when we take a look at another person,
how we wish that our life can be like theirs..
But really,
do we know the other side of his life that we cant see?
Perhaps it's not as smooth sailing as it seems,
nor more fortunate than we are...

Whenever we have this thinking,
dont we stop and remember that there are people who are less fortunate than us?...

But no matter who we want to be,
in the end, we're still we, ourselves..
so why not, think of the positive side of our life,
and make something beautiful out of it?.......

let us be thankful & contented with what we have...

Finally....... My very FIRST job!!!

Finally... Finally... Finally!!

After living for 19 years of her life,
the girl Regina Cheong has finally started her very FIRST job!!

I know most people who are younger than me has started working
at the age of 15 or 16?

hehe,
but i chose not to cos' i wanna enjoy my life 1st before stepping into working life..

~~~~~~~

first time getting paid for the work that i've put in the effort,
though it's not very much,
how good that feeling was!!
satisfaction.

but of course there are ups and downs..
though i'm dealing with my passion, pets,
passion and work is totally different.
though i love them,
but when im working with them,
sometimes i do get frustrated...
and honestly speaking,
i dont have the feeling or rather, bonding with them.
so to me,
they are just another animal..

sad,
but true :S

but overall,
of course i do feel happy at times,
especially the times when the dogs are really cooperative,
and some of them are really lovable! ^ ^

~~~~~~~

but i really don't like the part when the fur stuck on my body or clothes,
which is really itchy and painful!
and no matter how many times I wash that clothe,
the fur is still stuck there!

cant expect me to take the fur one by one out right? o.O

LoL!

I was just thinking if there's any material that the fur wont get stuck on?
hmmm...

Thursday, July 15, 2010

perhaps need a man...?

In the society that we're living in,
women wants to be equal to men,
or even better than them..

They wanna show that they can still live
or live better without them...

But is that true?

~~~~~~~

Afterall,
women are created "as a complement" of the man.
Therefore,
man and woman are not equal in all respects,
though all of us should be treated equally nonetheless,
not one inferior to the other...

That's why,
there are some things that men can definitely do better than women,
but that doesn't mean that they are always better,
because there are also other things that women can do better..

~~~~~~~

Was woken up by the splashing sounds of the water,
thought that someone was washing or cleaning the floor..

the sound came from the bathroom,
& when i went to checked,
water was splashing everywhere!!
i did not know what happened, so went to wake mom up..
( LoL! mom thought that it was raining =.= )

Anyway,
it was because a pipe has broken, hence the result =.=

~~~~~~~

At this point,
when mom was checking everything,
and trying to fix it,
I was thinking,
how good would it be if there was a man at home,
who would know better how to fix it...

But on the other hand,
mom managed to fix it,
so i think,
women can also do what men can do,
just that they have to put in extra effort to do that...

So hence the question::
Do women need men,
OR
Do men need women?.......

~~~~~~~

[[ Just nice, there were some buckets under the sink, so they collected the water,
but nonetheless, it was still a wastage of water =.=

& because I was rushing out, I had to shower using the water in the bucket, which was really cold!!

2nd time where there's no water at home..

How memorable, haha ;P

reminds me of the time where we were in the Philippines, having to collect water in the
middle of the night, and rationing it, due to a shortage of water there..

& of course having to bathe using water from buckets.. :D

Though it seems "pitiful", compare to our lifestyle in Singapore,
I really felt joyful & happy during that moment of my life... ]]

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Emotions.

Just trying to suppress my feelings
& trying hard to put on a brave front
so that no one will be worried about me...

All I thought that I'm able to face it bravely...

But in actual fact,
I'm just trying not to think about it,
distracting my mind,
so that I could control the tears from flowing out.

It was all like a dream,
it's time to wake up now & face the fact...
To be brave to face it,
& hopefully to have a solution for this situation...

But whenever I think of it,
memories keep on flooding in...
I really couldn't control myself any longer,
& just broke down & cry...

~~~

Life is really strange.
Most of the time,
the things that you didn't really hope for happens MORE than the things that you hope for...

All alone now,
How I wish I could be there...
But all I could do is just hide myself in a secret place,
where no one searches for me,
& hoping that no one hears the sobbing of my heart...

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Love or Bread?

Love or Bread?

A friend once told me that she would rather choose bread than love..
because love may fade,
but you need bread ( money ) to survive...

Is this being realistic?
or TOO realistic...

Somehow,
this question is thrown back to me at this point of time..

What shall we choose?

Will you rather choose LOVE or BREAD...

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Feelings.

(from facebook)

Monday, June 28 2010 at 2:41am

We may be young..

We may be immature..

We may not know what true love is..

We may conclude that the love we are feeling is true..


Perhaps what we have concluded is not true as defined.


But ultimately,
feelings are still feelings,
whether is it true or not,
we still feel bliss or hurt.


Does that mean that it is alright to be ignored...?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S II

(from facebook)

Monday, June 28 2010 at 2:35am

Friends come and go,
who will be the last one to stay?


Perhaps all of us have our own life,
we need to move on.


My friends,
were you there when i needed you...?

Monday, June 28, 2010

Friends.

(from facebook)

Friday, May 28, 2010 at 7:20pm

Friends...

All of us have friends,
some have many, some have less..

sometimes I wonder,
is it better to have many friends, but none of them is a true one,

or is it better to have less friends, but you're close and true to each other...?

L.O.V.E

(from facebook)

Monday, May 24, 2010 at 4:56pm

4 letters, 1 word, Love. What is it?

Is it what it is portray like in the movies, blissful?

Is it the puppy love that all of us has experienced before?

Or is it just feeling happy, being together, fill with love, that as long as you're together, you don't have to care about anything else?

PERHAPS.

These are all the definitions that I've experienced & thought that it was in the different stages of my life.

But it seems that it is not as simple as it is anymore.



Now I begin to understand why they are always saying that wait till we're matured enough before we begin a relationship.

Because love is not as simple as it is. It is not just simply being in love that is enough.

Love needs maturity. It takes courage.

It needs maturity to understand & handle all the things & responsibilities that it comes with it.

It takes courage to face the difficulties, stress which it causes.

It needs endurance to endure the things that whatever people may say or think behind your backs,
to endure the hardships that you may face.


Being in love is not just simply involve only the two of you, that it is enough if you are suitable for each other, that you enjoy each other's companies, simply feeling bliss being together & you don't have to care about anything else anymore.

Because love involves many other things, many considerations & decisions that you need to have the maturity to handle.

Especially it involves the people around you, which is more than enough to become an anxiety to you.


Love is not simple, it is hard.

But why is it that many people are willing to give up anything just for love?



Feeling regretful?






THINK TWICE.

Maturity.

(from facebook)

Monday, May 24, 2010 at 4:27pm

When we were young, how we wish that we can grow up fast, but when we reach a certain age, how we wish that we can go back to the time when we were much younger. Because growing up is not as fun as it seems, it's scary. Really.

As we mature, we begin to realize, experience the reality of this world, which is not as wonderful as it seems. Life is full of anxieties, one after another. It is CRUEL. We are no longer little boys or girls, where something goes wrong & we have our parents to " clear it up " for us. NO, we have to learn to deal it ourselves, no matter how hard it seems.

I really wanna fly, I really wanna run away.

But no matter how high I fly, how far I run, I need to learn to face the reality, that this is what it is.

Getting matured huh, is it still as fun as you think...?




~ Enjoy your youth while you can, don't waste it away. ~

just a little down.

( from facebook )

Thursday, March 18, 2010 at 12:13am

too many happenings these few days...

what bothered me occasionally is bothering me more frequently nowadays...


all i need is someone to be here for me...

all i need is for someone to understand what im going through...


but...

I just realised that nobody will always be there for you...


It's time to learn to be independent, and not to depend on others,

because all u get is just disappointments,

again and again...


It's all so tiring...


It's nice and comforting to hear someone telling you
" Don't worry, I'll always be here for u when u need me. "


But it's never true..

nobody will ALWAYS be there for you...


LIES.

Imbalanced.

(From facebook)
Wednesday, February 17, 2010 at 2:44pm


why can't people just come to ask whenever they have any enquries,

why do they have to ask someone else who doesn't have anything to do with that matter?

isn't that weird??

isn't it better to ask the people who are involved, to get a clearer picture?
instead of talking among yourselves and never get the right answer??


how sad when i get to know that people are talking about us..
is this perhaps consider as gossip?

or are these all just misunderstandings?


perhaps they are just jealous.

or perhaps they don't understand. they are just not used to it.


Imbalanced.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

..Running Away..








I guess
whenever I'm face with problems,
I'll choose to run away from them...

I know
running away doesn't solve the problem,
but neither do I know how to solve them.

Lacking of courage to face the problem,
I just want to hide myself from it.



~~~~~~~


Class today`

I made a serious mistake,
I was really worried and scared,
I really do not know what to do...

After handling the problem to my instructor,
I went for my break.

Immediately,
I went to the washroom,
stayed there long enough to bring myself back together...

Cried.
All the controlled tears in class just came...



~~~~~~~



I really do not know what to do, or where to go...

was supposed to take my lunch,
but i really had no appetite,
I was so worried of what will happen after I return...

No,
I do not want to call & tell anyone about it,
cos' it will just show how useless i am as a person,
that I just can't do things right,
and to let others know that i would simply cry for just a small matter...

Yes,
I cry easily.


~~~~~~~



among all the classmates,
i guess im the one who is always being scolded.

with really low self esteem,
I can't bring my head up to face them...

It's true.......

I guess
I'm lacking in confidence...


~~~~~~~


I was really very confuse,
I do not know what to do or where to go...

I just want to run away,, seriously.

I went out of school,
simply do not know where to go.

I just wanna go somewhere where there's nobody,
to hide myself...


~~~~~~~


But I know,
I can't hide forever,
I have to return..


Went back to class,
Apologised for what i've done.

It takes lots of courage,
really,
to face the music,
to face that circumstances...


~~~~~~~


Gotta go school again tmr..

Donno what lies ahead.

Perhaps another difficult day again...?


I know
I'm so negative.

But it's really hard to be positive,
though it's easy to say.


~~~~~~~


Please... Anyone please,
hug me tight, or give me pats on my head...

That's what I need right now,
to make me feel better...

If anyone would just care.......







Friday, October 30, 2009

BloGiiE's A.L.I.V.E (:

yupyupp,, blog's not dead,
just that i'm too busy these days that I can't be bothered to update anymore...

~~~~~~~

Well, recently, I've visited my chinese blog where I used to write the stories of my past...
It really dawned on me the person whom I was!!
Selfish, Childish, only think of myself, I was really such a stronghead person,
a total difference from my present self.....

As I was reading, I started to feel sad...
No, I wasn't sad for the past that I've experienced,
cos' they are happy memories that I would like to keep and treasure them in the bottom of my heart..

Rather,
I was sad, cos' of the person whom I was,
which caused hurt to the other party.
If i was given a chance to choose again,
I would rather that he never know me,
so that he would not get hurt...

If i was given a chance,
I would not have treated him that way,
cos'... he was really good to me..


But I know that in life, we will never get a 2nd chance for us to choose again,
cos' time cannot be reversed.

~~~~~~~

For that,
I'm really remorseful..

All i can hope is that he can find a better girl who will treat him aright..


things of the future..,
I do not know

Perhaps we will meet someday again?
if there's really this day,
I hope that I can have the chance to apologise to u...

I guess,
I'm not going to write in that blog anymore,
cos' our story has ended
but, I'll not close that blog,
cos' it's my story, my memories, a part of me...

~~~~~~~

Attended a wedding dinner`

in the past, I've never paid any attention to the wedding talk and all,
cos' as a kid, I was only looking forward to the dinner...

but this time,
it's a change around for me..

I listened attentively,
paid attention to every session of it,
and don't laugh,
I was really touched as I thought of my own wedding,
that I nearly cried, while controlling successfully...

My wedding..,
how would it be...?

~~~~~~~

To people who are still concern about this blog::

Thanks for visiting my blog :)

but bear with me if i'll take some time to reply all ur comments, cos' they amount to quite a
number due to not replying them for quite some time...

&& pictures have not been uploaded for quite some time..

will update soon :)

Oh ya btw,
to those curious people who read my previous post,
I'm a pets' groomer-to-be, studying in Dogcare Grooming Academy,
I do grooming for pets,
feel free to ask me if any enquiries
or if u have any pets that need to be groomed! :)

~~~~~~~

别把别人对你的好当作理所当然`
珍惜眼前人`

Don't take the good of others for granted,
cherish them.......